Today marks a year since I broke both my Tibia and Fibula in half. Until then I had never had a surgery or serious injury.

On that day I saw an large elk herd I estimate was about 60 of them. It was so enticing visually and wanted to photograph their serine beauty, strength and power. They got spooked an so did I when they felt my presence. They became agitated and went roaring down the embankment breaking branches in their way. I took a route to get out of their way.

The sun was going down and the temperature had quickly dropped to freezing. Rushing, I lofted into the air. The roots of the moss under my feet tore. Beneath it was very slippery mud and the incline of the hill was steep. The full break was immediately evident! It was actually two bones snapped in two which was loudly audible. My leg was literally a C shape.

Adrenaline is an amazing natural pain killer. I’d never tested it to that level. I was holding my leg together. Luckily my phone worked as I was in a place where there his usually no cell coverage and somehow by some miracle reached my family. I happened to luckily be on a road that I could exactly identify my location.

Assistance arrived after a half hour or more. I was getting cold on the ground.

Three counties of sweet medics pooled physical resources to help me get to the hospital via ambulance. They had to load me in a type of stretcher that they could manage in the mud a s then transfer me to an ambulance. I was treated so nicely. They administered fentanyl for the excruciating pain. Necessary manhandling was followed by more of the same in ER. The doctors were fantastic and got x rays and a CT scan to assess the reality of the situation. being moved was the highest degree of pain I have ever felt however. My sister and brother in law came to see me there.

I was admitted into the hospital to await surgery which happened two days later. My neighbor in my room insisted on no pain killers but moaned and carried on until finally after much cajoling from many separate Nurses and CRNs a constant flow of attempts somehow a apparently “hot doctor” talked her into it. I slept like I had never slept before.

This was my first surgery. Luckily I had lovely nurses at the hospital. My sister came to see me many times which really helped. My leg was in a splint the full length of my leg.

For the surgery they gave me two nerve blockers for the pain of the procedure. Six pins and a rod were inserted from above my knee since the bones were in half. My surgeon monitored the leg from an X-ray during the surgery. I was on non weight bearing for a month and a half. The last month of that I was in a nursing home.

I couldn’t feel my upper leg for some time. My legs atrophied at this point because I could not walk.

I was in assisted living for a month and a half on non weight bearing status.

As an empath the hospital environment and assisted care facility situation was jarring. My neighbor was on oxygen all day and her lines would get wrapped around my bed when she’d go to the restroom. My vitals were constantly being monitored. Absolutely no privacy. I could not lift my leg on my own so I had to have assistance to get to the restroom. I had to wait to get ice or any kind of assistance. Very humbling and enlightening as well. I had to stop my business because I could not have healings for others with so many interruptions.

Recovery was slow and in fact is still occurring. When I was released from not being able to put any weight on my leg the nerves on the bottom of my feet were very sensitive and for a few days felt like walking on glass. I had to learn to walk and build my strength and courage to take stairs. My leg was very stiff and the upper quad had not regained feeling from the surgery incisions that cut the nerve.

No one can really understand how it feels to be able bodied and then not within a matter of minutes unless they have had some kind of accident like this. It is really a life changing event and has provided me insights to deeper levels of compassion and empathy.

I started with home physical therapy. My therapist would come to me. The recovery progress was the hard but very rewarding at that time because it was dramatic shifts. From 10 steps to 100 for example. From not being able to roll over in bed or bend my leg to be able to do it. I moved from a walker, to arm crutches, and then to hiking poles. That was over the course of months but I could really see the differences. I learned how to stand up from the floor to crawl and to be able to sit on the floor.

Now I am in the home stretch. The leg is less flexible than before the accident. My limitations are less but I am at the muscle building strength side and it is much less obvious improvement. I cannot bend my knee that well still so sitting on my heels, squatting or sitting in Padmasana is still in the works but not yet possible. All of these things I could do before without issue. Stairs and getting up from the ground need work.

I am now walking, swimming and doing yoga though just recently we had a severe ice storm so I was not able to walk and swim for the duration of this weather because it is sheer ice on the ground. I still cannot run and some things are awkward like stairs.

I have learned that PT is much harder at the end when progress is slower. Daily efforts make it possible to improve.

I am grateful for all that I have been through and that I was located quickly and had family and friends that have supported me. It has enabled me to slow down into flow with nature, my art and my healing practice. I heal myself and others and go deeper with Pranashakthi, and music. I learned to make baskets from Willow and bramble, started printmaking again, made ceramics and have had a lovely opportunity to spend time with my mother who is 91 this year.

I feel blessed on this journey and surrender to my path!

If you are recovering from an injury, never give up even if it feels like you cannot surmount the obstacles. Do the Physical Therapy even when it seems overwhelming or uncomfortable. Progress does happen! I still hear my Nurse Nicole whispering “No Pain No Gain” in my ear!

In late 2011 I learned Pranashakthi energy healing. I was already using energetic gifts with basic Reiki. Expanding into this modality was pressing for the sake of my father whose Cancer had just metastasized and required faster acting shifts. It was a huge blessing Pranashakthi found me.

The depth of this special healing is still beyond any I have witnessed which is why I decided to delve so deeply. I took this seriously in a light way and I was fascinated. Because my father was in Oregon I was able to try remote healing immediately. The knowledge was a reminder to my core, of who I really am. Discovering Pranshakthi was a homecoming to my authentic intuitive self. A year later I was initiated as a teacher because I am that.

Not everyone was ready to learn or could understand because it seemed esoteric to some at that time. I acquired and embodied the understanding rapidly because healing is my passion, because it works, but also because of my father’s situation. I found out that feeling and knowing are two aspects of psychic abilities that exist and that I am very naturally tuned into both of theses aspects.

What I love about Pranashakthi is that it allows for creativity and freedom. I have used this sacred energy daily and have taught many people all over the world. I have met amazing friends and helped countless people and animals. You always have your body with you so it is always easy to access if you need or want to help someone. I am constantly surprised by what can shift.

I see parallels between these creative processes of ceramics too. If fact I now I infuse my ceramics with healing and Pranashakthi is fired inside. When the wet clay molecules dry the pieces are fired and healing is set within. Mahataj started with birds I would make for people who were sad as a reminder of how precious life is. I call them bluebirds of happiness and they can go on and altar or be carried in a pocket.

I recently began to consider how I could assist people to grasp remote healing more deeply beyond my current methods. Once the class ends not everyone incorporates the distance techniques. Not everyone attracts people and animals who need healing like I tend to. I am a free spirit so remote healing comes naturally. I had no fear and also have strong faith. It seems that sometimes it really helps people to feel supported but they don’t want to be a burden so I had an idea.

Through using and developing Pranashakthi and through extensive trainings, I feel uniquely qualified to help people grasp what I bring through. I have been using it, teaching, receiving many advanced trainings; and have developed how to best allow for this energy to flow. It was the need to assist that created the motivation to delve deeply and quickly into a space of how to assist others!

I have just created a closed group so anyone who learns from me in any country can ask me to join once you have learned. I am providing this for people who are open to the assistance, who I ascertain are a good fit and are agreeable. Each student can at their leisure check in at any time to practice. I provide some people who need more extensive assistance that can use more help. Since I am familiar with the cases, I can offer guidance until the person remembers how to use their gifts which we have unfortunately been weened off through our culture.

So if I have taught you Pranashakthi in the past let me know if you want to be added to the group.

If you want to learn healing I can offer live classes in San Francisco my rates are on my web page. I teach four levels of Pranashakthi Mahavidya. I also teach level one Crystal Healing, as well as Level One Sri Vidya. I can also teach online.

If you gather enough fellow students and feel called to host me in your town I am available with enough notice as long as the deposit to covers my expenses.

I will be offering mini sessions at the Holistic Health Saloon on March 29 in San Francisco. I will add a link once it is provided to me.

Sometimes the focus on a goal or a way of seeing and responsibilities can get in the way of living. Life can become semi automated. The set pattern of movement or routine, commute, and work can cause another world to not exist. Living in a city, disconnection from nature, it can happen. All it takes is a perception switch into presence? embodiment to break loose into high vibrations.

Visuals become vibrant or understandings can suddenly come into focus. It can be sparked by life situations that unfold like falling in love, having a baby or moving, a brush with death, or a breakup. It can also just occur from meeting one soul who inspires you! Consciousness shifts often go hand in hand with newness in circumstances. The lows sorrows and loss of faith transmute. Joy and being in the heart or in nature brings us up and out. When we have gratitude for the fleeting nature of an incarnation then we reset our optimism and trust. When we ourselves are of service to the whole we ignite hope in others and make the world a better place.

There is also the blessings of personal devotion. With sadhana vibrancy and color, the aliveness of nature all become amplified as well as intuitive guidance. Knowing and compassion are also heightened. When one is well rested and peaceful optimum presence is available. More happens without effort.

In the last few years I have been focused on the inner, on learning and honing my spiritual being.i have been in service but in a one on one quiet way. I have been more inward and solitary. Today at a friend’s urging I decided to go see a movie. It was what I needed to bring me back to myself. To just do something not in my norm.

I noticed since it has been so long since I bad been to that theater is there are no more ticket sales from humans. There are still those who scan tickets with digital devices. There was also no longer attendants accepting money at the garage. I have noticed automation coming and more and more with robotic person replacements. From retail, reception and coffee. It has not been that long.

The message of the movie itself reflected the positives of society we are moving towards. The expansion of consciousness, opening to our collective gifts and following prompts to follow our dreams.

As I drove home I took a different street past the encampments of people who don’t currently even have a roof over their head. It feels like the numbers are way up and the wet cold is even colder. I appreciate what I have which is warmth and a place to myself out of the elements. How do they get through all of this.

So I am in this space of seeing all that is. I feel the pace of the city quickening. On Christmas Eve I almost got run over by a car going 50 in a residential area. I am grateful that I am still here because I and as anyone reading this must know each purpose is important. I am glad I did not leave in that way. The ashram was across the street and it would have traumatic to others especially Christmas Eve day and the location.

That same night however I also heard an angelic choir at Grace Cathedral and enjoyed the company of two dear friends. The energy was so high!

Here is a quote for you:

“Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren’t any need for you in all you your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. And never forget, no matter how overwhelming life’s challenges and problems seem to be, that one person can make a difference in the world. In fact, it is always because of one person that all of the changes that matter in the world come about. So be that one person.”

Buckminster Fuller; Architect Engineer, and Inventor

And one more

Something hit me very hard once, thinking about what one little man could do. Think of the Queen Mary — the whole ship goes by and then comes the rudder. And there’s a tiny thing at the edge of the rudder called a trimtab.
It’s a miniature rudder. Just moving the little trim tab builds a low pressure that pulls the rudder around. Takes almost no effort at all. So I said that the little individual can be a trimtab. Society thinks it’s going right by you, that it’s left you altogether. But if you’re doing dynamic things mentally, the fact is that you can just put your foot out like that and the whole big ship of state is going to go.
So I said, call me Trimtab.

Everything is shifting, the set point is a moving target which requires optimism, peace, awareness, faith, trust and adaptability. Stay positive and be the love you are! Go with the flow even when it feels heavy or foreign. Self doubt is only illusion. Everything is shifting and clearing! Let 2020 be your pathway to light. Be who you are and know even that your perception of that can shift. While the collective is important so is each being. There is no other you. Each person is gifted for what they are here for. No one has the same gift we are all like snowflakes. Even our voices are one of a kind. There is such a thing as a voice print and no two voices are the same. Happy New Year to a special soul!

There is a cat who doesn’t appear to have an owner in my neighborhood. She loves me and is learning to trust in me. She was so cold last night I sat and gave her my attention love and warmth. I decided I would let her stay inside with me. She was following me but she was literally on the fence. I tried to help her down and scared her. So I later left her a scarf to sleep on. Since then I have not seen her and or has been pouring rain. This scarf is now drenched in rain. I hope she is ok.