Today marks a year since I broke both my Tibia and Fibula in half. Until then I had never had a surgery or serious injury.

On that day I saw an large elk herd I estimate was about 60 of them. It was so enticing visually and wanted to photograph their serine beauty, strength and power. They got spooked an so did I when they felt my presence. They became agitated and went roaring down the embankment breaking branches in their way. I took a route to get out of their way.

The sun was going down and the temperature had quickly dropped to freezing. Rushing, I lofted into the air. The roots of the moss under my feet tore. Beneath it was very slippery mud and the incline of the hill was steep. The full break was immediately evident! It was actually two bones snapped in two which was loudly audible. My leg was literally a C shape.

Adrenaline is an amazing natural pain killer. I’d never tested it to that level. I was holding my leg together. Luckily my phone worked as I was in a place where there his usually no cell coverage and somehow by some miracle reached my family. I happened to luckily be on a road that I could exactly identify my location.

Assistance arrived after a half hour or more. I was getting cold on the ground.

Three counties of sweet medics pooled physical resources to help me get to the hospital via ambulance. They had to load me in a type of stretcher that they could manage in the mud a s then transfer me to an ambulance. I was treated so nicely. They administered fentanyl for the excruciating pain. Necessary manhandling was followed by more of the same in ER. The doctors were fantastic and got x rays and a CT scan to assess the reality of the situation. being moved was the highest degree of pain I have ever felt however. My sister and brother in law came to see me there.

I was admitted into the hospital to await surgery which happened two days later. My neighbor in my room insisted on no pain killers but moaned and carried on until finally after much cajoling from many separate Nurses and CRNs a constant flow of attempts somehow a apparently “hot doctor” talked her into it. I slept like I had never slept before.

This was my first surgery. Luckily I had lovely nurses at the hospital. My sister came to see me many times which really helped. My leg was in a splint the full length of my leg.

For the surgery they gave me two nerve blockers for the pain of the procedure. Six pins and a rod were inserted from above my knee since the bones were in half. My surgeon monitored the leg from an X-ray during the surgery. I was on non weight bearing for a month and a half. The last month of that I was in a nursing home.

I couldn’t feel my upper leg for some time. My legs atrophied at this point because I could not walk.

I was in assisted living for a month and a half on non weight bearing status.

As an empath the hospital environment and assisted care facility situation was jarring. My neighbor was on oxygen all day and her lines would get wrapped around my bed when she’d go to the restroom. My vitals were constantly being monitored. Absolutely no privacy. I could not lift my leg on my own so I had to have assistance to get to the restroom. I had to wait to get ice or any kind of assistance. Very humbling and enlightening as well. I had to stop my business because I could not have healings for others with so many interruptions.

Recovery was slow and in fact is still occurring. When I was released from not being able to put any weight on my leg the nerves on the bottom of my feet were very sensitive and for a few days felt like walking on glass. I had to learn to walk and build my strength and courage to take stairs. My leg was very stiff and the upper quad had not regained feeling from the surgery incisions that cut the nerve.

No one can really understand how it feels to be able bodied and then not within a matter of minutes unless they have had some kind of accident like this. It is really a life changing event and has provided me insights to deeper levels of compassion and empathy.

I started with home physical therapy. My therapist would come to me. The recovery progress was the hard but very rewarding at that time because it was dramatic shifts. From 10 steps to 100 for example. From not being able to roll over in bed or bend my leg to be able to do it. I moved from a walker, to arm crutches, and then to hiking poles. That was over the course of months but I could really see the differences. I learned how to stand up from the floor to crawl and to be able to sit on the floor.

Now I am in the home stretch. The leg is less flexible than before the accident. My limitations are less but I am at the muscle building strength side and it is much less obvious improvement. I cannot bend my knee that well still so sitting on my heels, squatting or sitting in Padmasana is still in the works but not yet possible. All of these things I could do before without issue. Stairs and getting up from the ground need work.

I am now walking, swimming and doing yoga though just recently we had a severe ice storm so I was not able to walk and swim for the duration of this weather because it is sheer ice on the ground. I still cannot run and some things are awkward like stairs.

I have learned that PT is much harder at the end when progress is slower. Daily efforts make it possible to improve.

I am grateful for all that I have been through and that I was located quickly and had family and friends that have supported me. It has enabled me to slow down into flow with nature, my art and my healing practice. I heal myself and others and go deeper with Pranashakthi, and music. I learned to make baskets from Willow and bramble, started printmaking again, made ceramics and have had a lovely opportunity to spend time with my mother who is 91 this year.

I feel blessed on this journey and surrender to my path!

If you are recovering from an injury, never give up even if it feels like you cannot surmount the obstacles. Do the Physical Therapy even when it seems overwhelming or uncomfortable. Progress does happen! I still hear my Nurse Nicole whispering “No Pain No Gain” in my ear!